Circle of Life
by xfmoon
Summary: Life has a way of paying us back the way we deserve, this is one possible way life could have turned out for our heroes.


**Disclaimer: **If the mentalist was a kingdom I would be a peasant not the king. In short I own diddlysquat.

* * *

The moment they'd both feared had come. After so many years they were going to be separated. Forever. Such were the circumstances of this life they'd led. Lisbon was standing in front of a grave, his grave. The wind played with her hair as tears fell freely down her cheeks. Most people had left, but some lingered. Beside her stood two men and a woman all dressed in black, all equally grieving. Death always seems to come too soon. The people remaining had been through a lot together, now there was one less person in their tight little group, their little improvised family that had been thrown together by chance.

When they turned and left two other people a man and a woman in their late twenties, early thirties put an arm around Lisbon's shoulder and took her hand respectively. They walked like that to the car, that old blue Citroën that despite its old age and its owner's recent death were still running faithfully. Lisbon smiled, she had so many memories driving around in this car. Many a time she'd hassled him about it being old and unfashionable, but she'd secretly come to love it and its reliability and right now it reminded her of him and his own loyal nature. A few more tears escaped her eyes, but these were happier, tears for all the joyous days of their life. She got into the passenger seat, the woman sat in the back and the young man drove them home.

The wake went without incident, she couldn't help but think that if he had been there it might have gone differently. People came and people went, they gave her their condolences and talked about him in kind words. He'd probably played tricks on most of these people, so seeing them being so kind made her smile on the inside. People could be so phony, but funerals bought the best out of them, and not a bad word is said about the dead, like he would care one way or another. It wasn't like any of these people really knew him anyway. Not like she did. Of course she wasn't the only one, but she was the one that knew him the best.

After a while she'd felt tired and overwhelmed so she'd sat down in an armchair and remained there until the last of the people had left the house. Each member of her former team came and said their goodbyes and promised to come by once in a while. To see how she was doing no doubt, but they didn't say that. She was grateful never the less, they had all been such good and true friends over the years.

The only ones that remained were the young man and woman who were busy cleaning up now that everyone had left. Lisbon sat looking at them, she didn't have the energy to help them, not today. After about an hour she dozed off, and in her mind she saw him so clearly that she thought she could reach out and touch him. He was younger, much younger, it was the day they'd first met, he was such a mess back then, they shook hands and she remembered thinking it would be a mistake to let him stay and work with them, how wrong she'd been. The image faded due to the unmistakable sound of a vacuum cleaner, she opened her eyes a tiny bit then closed them again willing the vision of him to come back again, and it did. Piece for piece like the Cheshire cat in 'Alice in Wonderland', she first saw his bright smile, then his seacoloured eyes and the rest of his face, his arms came into focus as he caught her during their trustfall exercise, his chest was next, she felt it ever so briefly before she was on her feet again, she turned around and as if by magic his legs and his worn out brown shoes had reappeared as well. She smiled at him and him at her. She heard his soft voice _"I need you to know that you can trust me, no matter what happens I'll be there for you, I will."_ And he was, he'd kept that promise, he'd been there and he'd saved her, in more ways than one.

The images blurred out and came together again, she sees him sad and broken, standing in puddles of blood, she sees him happy and laughing throwing a toddler in the air and catching him again, while she worriedly watches him. A little girl crawls over to him and he lifts her up as well swirling her around then puts her down. He looks over at her and smiles. _"Teresa, Teomm."_ His voice slowly vanishes and is replaced by a feminine one.

_"Hmm."_ She stirs, someone is gently shaking her arm.

The voice continues softly, _"Mom, mom wake up. We're leaving now."_ She opens her eyes and is greeted by the woman's face, her familiar eyes are sad and a little worried.

_"What did you say sweetheart?" _She hears herself say.

_"We're going home. Do you want us to do anything else?"_

_"No, no, you've already done so much. You should go home and rest. Where's your brother?"_

_"He's putting some things in the car. I'll tell him to come in and say goodbye."_

_"Okay, now you say hi to James and kiss the girls from me."_

_"I will, I'm sorry they left early, they were so exhausted."_

_"It's fine, I know what it's like. You go now, I'll be fine."_

_"Bye mom."_

_"Bye Emily."_

_"I'll come by tomorrow, okay."_ She said as she left. She worried too much for such a young person, Lisbon thought, it must be in her genes. Lisbon nodded her goodbye, tiredness still wearing on her. She got up from the chair. A few moments past and then her son came in to say goodbye too. He hugged her tightly, just like his father used to do.

_"Goodbye mom, I'll come by in a few days."_

_"If they're up to it, do bring Carrie and the baby, I bet she's grown an inch since I saw her last."_

_"I will they're sorry they missed dad's funeral, Carrie's been a little under the weather lately, and with the baby and all."_

_"Don't apologize, your father wouldn't have wanted her to come if she wasn't feeling well. Go home and spoil them, they deserve it."_

_"Thanks mom. Love you."_

_"I love you too Daniel, bye."_

And then they left. She waved to them from the window, then turned around looking at her house, it felt so empty without him. He'd only been gone a week and already she felt lonely. At one point in her life she'd thought he'd eventually drive her nuts, that living with her former consultant would be a pain, but everything changed after Red John's demise. And the fact that they loved each other made everything better. They'd had a great, long life together, they'd been blessed with children - their beautiful twins, Emily and Daniel - and grandchildren, three equally beautiful girls. She couldn't have asked for more.

Despite his previous tragedy he'd managed to find happiness again, to move on and be content. And he'd chosen to do that with her and in the process he'd made her happy and content as well. They'd been a good match. But now she was alone, like she'd been so many times before in her life, this time was no different, she'd lost someone she loved, and the world didn't stop because of that, life moved on, and so would she eventually. But that didn't mean it didn't hurt and would continue to for the rest of her days. At least it had been a peaceful and natural death and not a brutal one like Red John had had in mind so many years earlier. She hadn't thought about that madman for years, hadn't had a reason to, but Jane's death had brought with it some of her past fears, moments she'd thought she'd lose him forever. Luckily it hadn't come to that, until now, until nature took its course and decided he didn't have a place in this world anymore.

**xxx**

Normally she didn't think of herself as old, but she could feel how much of a toll the last few days had taken on her, she felt exhausted, so she decided to get ready for bed. She went into their bedroom, removed the covers, got in, and snuggled herself into the blankets. But she couldn't fall asleep, she missed his strong arms around her, the way he would run his fingers through her hair and kiss her gently before they would fall asleep in each other's embrace.

But here she was, lying all alone, one side of the bed oddly vacant, the bed less burdened than usual, absent the weight of one body. She found it rather ironic since he'd been the one suffering from insomnia, but as he always said she cured him - not that she considered herself a cure for sleeplessness but at least he'd slept normally in all the years they'd been together - but now that he was gone, it seemed like he'd passed the insomnia torch unto her. And all she could do in her insomniac state was to lie and think, just let her mind wander between all the memories they'd created together.

She thought about their wedding day, it'd been a small ceremony on the beach with just their closest family and the team. She remembered telling him she was pregnant, being happy and at the same time fearful of his reaction, he'd been overjoyed and banished all her worries in seconds. Then there'd been the arguments about her being out chasing bad guys or being on desk duty with absolutely no fieldwork, while she was pregnant. They'd both stubbornly held their grounds, but in the end she had realized he was probably right, she hadn't felt up to all that driving around and running just became too much for her, plus she would never want to put her children at risk in any way, so she'd been a paperpusher for a while until it had been time for her maternity leave.

She had never been as happy as the day the twins were born, and the proud look that appeared on Jane's face and never went away again made it all worth it. He adored those children like nothing else in this world and would have spoiled them rotten if she hadn't been there. She loved them all so much, but that didn't mean she'd be pushing papers forever, when she came back to work the first chance she got to take down a suspect she took and it felt good. _'Adrenaline junkie'_ was what he'd playfully called her, but he didn't stop her, he knew better than that. She was a big girl and as long as she came home every night unharmed she'd hear no arguments from him, that and he didn't want to get punched in the nose. She loved him for that, for not cuddling her to death and suffocating her with unnecessary protectiveness, but respecting her and her decisions.

The last memory she dwelled on before she finally succumbed to sleep was from just after they'd gotten engaged. It was a Saturday morning, it was late but they were still in bed, he'd proposed the night before and she'd said yes. Their romance was still quite new, but they were in love and besides they had known each other for years already. Jane didn't want to wait. _'Why wait when you know it is right,'_ as he said. And she'd agreed knowing full well how fast things can change. Anyways it was the day after and they were cuddled up in bed, her head rested on his chest, her eyes closed, she felt the rise and fall of his thorax with every breath he took and she could hear the calm and steady rhythm of his beating heart. Other than that silence prevailed. He was lightly stroking her rich dark hair. She was so relaxed that she'd almost drifted back to sleep when he eventually spoke: _"Lisbon?"_ his voice was hesitantly poking her sleepy mind.

_"Mmm"_ was all she could muster up strength to say.

_"You awake?"_

_"Mmm, yes."_

_"This is very important Lisbon I need you to do one thing for me."_

Something in his tone had turned serious. She opened her eyes and looked up at him, searching his face for the cause. _"Anything,"_ she said.

_"If we're really going to do this…,"_ her heart sank thinking he was going to back out, he saw the hurt in her eyes so he hurried on _"I just need you to make me a promise."_

_"Well, what is it?"_ She didn't like the combination of him being cryptic and serious at the same time.

_"You have to promise me not to die before me."_

_"What?"_ That wasn't what she'd expected at all.

_"I, I... I can't..."_ stuttering was never a good sign coming from Patrick Jane. She knew what he was gonna say, but she let him finish. _"I can't lose you too."_

_"Patrick, you know I can't promise you what you're asking me, right? Contrary to what you might think I don't control nature."_ She was trying to lighten the mood a little. He appreciated that, but this was one thing he just couldn't let go. He had a tendency to obsess after all.

_"I mean it Teresa. I can't marry you if you don't promise to outlive me."_

She narrowed her eyes at him, he was really being serious, there was no way around this if she wanted to spend her life with him. _"Well technically I'm younger than you, and healthier,"_

_"Debateable."_ He interjected with a crooked smile.

_"and I'm a woman,"_

_"True."_ Another interjection.

_"and women do statistically live longer than men, so yeah I'd say it'll be highly plausible that I'll live longer than you anyway."_

_"I know all that, but..."_

_"...you need me to promise, I understand."_

_"See we're finishing each other's sentences already, up to a good start."_

_"Oh hush,"_ she said and bashed him playfully. _"What if I say I'll promise to do my absolute best to stay alive as long as possible?"_

_"Naah, I don't know." _He said but his tone was no longer serious.

_"You know marriage is about compromises right?"_

_"Oh okay then, I guess I can live with that halfassed promise if I absolutely have to."_

She smiled. _"You're a hard man to satisfy Mr. Jane." _

_"Oh you think so. You're wrong. Here let me show you." _He swung her around and she squealed of joy.

They ended up spending the whole day in bed enjoying each other and making plans for the future.

She had all but forgotten about that promise, yet in the end she'd managed to keep it anyway. It was probably for the best after all. He knew she was strong, she could bare the loss, not that he wasn't strong he just loved very intensely which meant that he mourned very intensely too. And now he was no more. Luckily he hadn't suffered, a few days of sickness and that was it. Now it was her turn to mourn the loss. They'd had a wonderful life together, they'd been blessed with a long life, health and happiness. And that's what she was thinking about when she fell into a deep and restful sleep.

**xxx**

Days came and days went. Friends and family stopped by. After a few days had passed her son, his wife and their little baby daughter came for a visit. The whole day they were there her son and daughter-in-law kept eyeing and smiling clandestinely at each other as if they shared a secret, but they didn't seem to wanna share it. After a while Lisbon finally had enough.

_"Okay what is going on with you two?"_

_"What do you mean mom?"_

_"Oh please, don't you think being married to a mentalist has taught me a thing or two about reading people. You two are hiding something from me. Now what is it?"_ Even for an old woman she had an air of authority about her, still her tone was one of no-nonsense.

They shared a look again and silently nodded their agreement with one another. Then Daniel spoke: _"Carrie's pregnant."_

_"Oh thank God, I thought it was bad news." _Came Lisbon's relieved response.

_"There's something else."_

_"What? Don't tell me something's wrong with it or any of you. You're not sick are you?"_ Anxiousness gripped her momentarily again, afraid she'd overstayed her welcome in the land of happiness.

_"No it's nothing like that."_

_"Then what is it. Don't keep me in suspense."_ She really didn't like surprises.

It was Carrie's turn to say something, bursting with excitement herself she announced _"It's a boy. We're having a boy."_

_"Oh that's wonderful."_ Her first grandson, Jane would have been so proud, too bad he didn't get a chance to see or meet him too.

_"That's not all," _Daniel said, _"We've already agreed on a name. We're going to call him Patrick."_

That did it for her. That was it. Tears started streaming down her face in a steady flow. Happy tears, that was. She'd lost one Patrick but was soon going to gain another. So was the circle of life, at times cruel but always fair.

* * *

**A/N: **Sorry for killing Jane, but hey at least it was a natural death, and I think I gave him a pretty good life too.

I wrote this before 'Red Dawn' aired, not that it matters, but I did put a tiny bit about their first meeting in there, namely their handshake, but I wouldn't count that as spoilerish.

So I was catching up on the show Revenge while writing this, hence the names of the twins, and I think the name Carrie was inspired by Halloween.

Anyways hope you liked it and as always feel free to let me know what you think.


End file.
